What are Tips for Dating in the Sober Community?

The Sober community is where you’ll find people living happily and successfully in post-rehab, post-prison, and otherwise sober lives. It is apparent that the world of substance addiction is changing–and not for the better. There is a whole new batch of addicts that were never exposed to drugs or alcohol before entering adulthood (i.e., the prescription opioid epidemic).

Regardless of how people become addicted, we know one thing: living without substances will mean different challenges than we’ve seen in past decades. This article will discuss what it’s like to date in the sober community and tips for dating in the sober community.

What it is Like to Date in the Sober Community

Dating in the sober community is different from dating when you were using. For example, in the past, people could get high or drunk just out of boredom at a party, but now it’s not acceptable to be intoxicated at work. In the past, you could have an affair or have sex with someone and not be overcome with guilt because there was no consequence or set time limit. But now that you’re in an accountability relationship, your partner will notice if you aren’t sobering up after work. And if that person doesn’t think you’re ready to be involved in a solid relationship, you won’t end up in one.

In terms of exclusivity in dating, well, that has changed from the past. As a recovering addict or alcoholic, it is important to remember that you can only be romantically involved with people who don’t drink or use drugs. This means that as a recovering addict, you won’t have the opportunity to be with an alcoholic; if you do, your sobriety will not last long. A sober partner will not encourage even one drink.

They’ll want you to be healthy and happy by focusing on the right things in life. And, if you aren’t ready to settle down before you’re sober, they won’t force you into a relationship with them. You should work hard at becoming ready for love and a family of your own, but if the time doesn’t feel right or your sobriety isn’t solid enough, they’ll respect that too.

Tips For Dating in the Sober Community

If you’re new to the sober community and looking for love, we’ve put together a list of “rules” that can help you stay true to your sobriety.

  • Keep your schedule open. You may want to meet potential dates in person or talk on the phone, but make sure they’ll be available when you are
  • it’s tough enough for people who drink socially to find time free from work and family commitments. It’s not a given they’ll be okay with you if you’re only available to see them on the weekends or at night after work.
  • If you have time for friends, keep it that way. You should not be spending all your time or your new person’s time getting to know each other and getting to know sobriety and recovery as a community. It’s better to keep some space between you and your new partner before committing in such a serious manner.
  • Don’t blame yourself if you don’t click with someone sober. Even if you or your new partner aren’t sober at first, it’s important to remember that couples who have gone through addiction can find a lot of common ground in sobriety. It takes work and commitment to get sober.
  • Read up on recovery in sobriety before you start dating someone in the community. If you know what it is like to live sober, that’s a great place to start. Otherwise, you can learn a lot by reading and listening to other people’s recovery journeys and how they got sober – from the people who are doing it with you.
  • If things aren’t working out, stick with sobriety for two years or more before having another drink or using again. You have to have your priorities straight to move on — and recovery is one of them.

In conclusion, while dating in the sober community is difficult, it can be rewarding if you work at it. You may find that your relationship will last forever, or you’ll be looking for someone else to love and add to your family before anything else ever comes into play again. However, if you’re starting, make sure that the person knows what it takes to live sober. And remember: never drink or use in the sober community with someone else who isn’t sober. If you need any help, Our counselors are available 24 hours a day. Call 614-705-0611.